Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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