Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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