Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
