Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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