There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
