You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
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my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
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BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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