Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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