I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
