I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
