Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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