i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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