Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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