i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
