Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
