butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
