so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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