just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
