i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
