My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation