i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue