My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
