Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
