sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
