Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
