I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize