problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
