You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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