The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Farmville is her only friend.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
