I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
