Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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