walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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