and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
