your parents love me but you hate me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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