ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
