"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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