I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Holy sore nipples Batman
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize