5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
