So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
