don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.