am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
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I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
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I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!