no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.