C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...