Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
