K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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