Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
