you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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