I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
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We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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