the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
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It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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