It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
