Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize