So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
