I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize