I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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