happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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