I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
