Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Quick, to the slutcave!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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