hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
