just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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