I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
