just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
